New Smithsonian Anti-Woke Exhibit Shocks the Public
Re-writing history? No problemo!
All characters and events in this satire are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Many attendees last night who visited the Administration’s new exhibit at the re-christened Trump Smithsonian did a double take. Dreaming of an Anti-Woke America features new, “anti-woke, anti-DEI” versions of classic American imagery—reimagined to better fit into America’s contemporary cultural regime.
The reworking of Charles Weisgerber's iconic painting, Birth of Our Nation's Flag, below, depicting Betsy Ross showing Old Glory to the Founding Fathers, for example, while exuding a certain charm, somehow seems to be missing something—or someone.
“Fuck that Orange Dude!” exclaimed one irate visitor, who had to be restrained by guards from tearing to shreds the canvas—which had been permamently altered by Sharpie from the 1893 original. “Is nothing sacred?”
Not dissimilar reactions were forthcoming from LGBTQ patrons upon casting their eyes on Diana Davies’s 1970 photo, Gay Liberation Front marches on Times Square. The image had been Photoshopped to omit the word “Gay.”
An astute observer will also note the alterations to two of the symbols for man and woman, as well as the complexion of the African-American marcher, front left.
Virtually all who looked at it were taken aback by the tastelessly altered new version of Rockwell’s The Problem We All Live With, above, which had once depicted Ruby Bridges, a six-year-old African-American girl, on her way to William Frantz Elementary School, an all-white public school, on November 14, 1960.
The most shocked reactions, though, were reserved for the exhibit’s final item, below, which might best be titled The Blanching of Satchmo.
With the help of AI software produced by Elon Musk’s xAI, running on its Colossus supercomputer—and powered by the company’s Memphis-polluting 1.56 gigawatt power plant—the conversion of Louis Armstrong into a Caucasian-esque trumpeter was nothing less than a marvel of technology.
Environmentalists calculate that the production of this image required 74 natural gas turbines and consumed one-half the lifetime of the Memphis Sand Aquifer.
How many Tennesseans will eventually die of COPD induced by the power plant’s methane-generated pollution is uncertain. 350.org estimates it at least 75,000.
Did I mention I love your satire?
No fair mixing in facts though. They'll die happy knowing AI will save humanity!
This is either insane or intentionally vile and stupid vandalism . Hard to think what could be a better word.