New York's Radio City Music Hall Eliminates DEI Programs

Rockettes are furious, urge total boycott

In a move that shocked both tourists and native New Yorkers, the city's famed Radio City Music Hall canceled all of its Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) programs.

The “New Rockettes” strut their stuff at the legendary NYC theater

The most noticeable effect greeted arriving ticketholders on Saturday, when the stage was occupied by the “New Rockettes,” a group of middle-aged white men.

Though dressed in outfits somewhat resembling the original Rockettes, the group appeared to have little relevant experience in dancing.

“WTF? This is an outrage!” said Jane Milrose, an attorney from Peoria, who was visiting the city on vacation. “Who wants to watch a group of unqualified white men try to dance?”

We took her complaint to NYC Mayor Eric Adams, who had just returned from his third trip to Mar a Lago.

“Hey, the President made a decision and I'm not going to question it. Like everyone, these fine hoofers deserve a chance to earn a living practicing their profession. We're all about the future, not the past.”

We next sought comments from the now unemployed original Rockettes, who were out front picketing.

Angry Rockettes urged the public to “not go along with this fascist bullshit”

“We urge every decent person not to support this disgusting action. Not only are we out of work, but we've been replaced by incompetent bro’s that literally no one wants to see,” said erstwhile Rockette, Melanie Schiff.

“We were forbidden from even posting about this change on our social networks! The President said he was going to do this. When somebody tells you who they are, believe them.”

Coverage in the New York Times was limited to a “culture” story headlined, “Some Question Move to a Refreshed Radio City.”