Project 2029 to Replace Bill of Rights With Ten Commandments

Completion of multi-decade Heritage Foundation effort

Sources today revealed a previously unknown plan—titled “Project 2029”—that replaces the entire US government with a full theocracy.

The 969 page document begins its makeover of American society thus: First, the Ten Commandments are delivered in person to the Supreme Court by Moses. Then ratification—as a one-for-one replacement for the Bill of Rights—is via an autopen controlled by Associate Justice Samuel Alito.

In Chapter One of Project 2029 —“Genesis and Resurrection II”— Moses delivers the Commandments to the Supreme Court.

The plan’s architect is Director of the Office of Management and Budget, Russell Vought, who also co-authored Project 2025. Contacted about the new plan, Vought acknowledged that it is a blueprint for what he called Trump's “third and final term.”

“Final is only a figurative term here,” he stated in a brief phone conversation. “While it's true that HaMashiach (מֶלֶךְ הַמָּשִׁיחַ) will die soon after his third ascension to the Throne, he will rise from the dead three days later and rule the Kingdom for 2000 years.”

[Editor’s Note: In a confidential briefing, a techbro who works closely with moguls Marc Andreessen and Peter Thiel explained the actual plan to me: By 2029, Thiel’s Palantir Technolgies will have readied an AI-powered Trump body double, code-named Droidal Trump, that can perfectly mimic the late President’s severely limited range of speech and mannerisms. With the help of the extensive and supportive MAGA media, he told me, “no one will be the wiser.”]

Artist’s depiction of Droidal Trump in its supposed third term, shouting at reporters.

As for the sort of American society Vought and his conclave have in mind, after the full adoption of Shari Law (named for the famed ventriloquist Shari Lewis), here’s what to expect.

Clerics will rule all formerly secular elements of American society, including industry, media, the arts, and law.

For example, the National Science Foundation will become the National Séance Foundation, charged with the duty of putting grieving families in contact their dear departed.

Juneteenth will no longer be a national holiday. It will be replaced by All Saints' Day, celebrated on November 1st, as a Christian feast day honoring all saints, including Saint Ronald, Saint Rush, and Saint Adolf.

On March 3, Trinity Day, all American women will be permitted their joyous annual pilgrimmage to shop freely on New York’s Fifth Avenue, as illustrated in Project 2029’s Appendix 3:

[If you need to be told this is satire, there's a “totally obliterated” nuclear site in Fordow, Iran, you may want to purchase]