Trump Runs Cock Fight on White House Lawn

ASPCA sues to stop the bloody duel

In violation of the laws in 50 states and the District of Columbia, President Trump held the first cockfight ever on the White House lawn today to celebrate Independence Day.

The ASCPA immediately sued to stop the cruel event. After a Federal judge issued an injunction to stop Make America's Cocks Great Again, the U. S. Supreme Court issued an indefinite stay, permitting the blood sport event—in which roosters fight to the death—to continue “as long as our leader pleases.”

The majority, 6-3, opinion was written jointly by Justices Thomas and Alito, with the four other authoritarian justices concurring.

Excited members of Congress watch as the two roosters bloody each other until one dies.

A select group of Congressmen, drawn from both House and Senate, eagerly followed the action via a blow-by-blow account piped over a loudspeaker on the lawn, augmenting the broadcast team of Thomas Homan and Stephen Miller.

The event was also streamed live online by Fox Sports. A recorded version for later broadcast is said to be in the works as a joint venture of Paramount’s CBS Sports and Disney's ABC Sports.

Betting on the lawn clearly favored the more reddish feathered bird named MAGA over its flustered and outclassed opponent named LibTard.

“We've got the biggest cock here today in the history of the world,” said the beaming Commander-in-Chief as the recently formed 256-piece National ICE Orchestra performed Hail to the Chief. “It’s way bigger than that oriental, Xi Jinping’s. Why shouldn’t we flash it in public?”

After the festivities ended, the entire Trump family celebrated by dining on the entrails of the winning rooster.