Trump Using Talking Parrot to Evade Gag Order
Move follows another warning from judge
Following yet another warning from Judge Juan Merchan to stop using GOP surrogates to circumvent his gag order, Donald Trump has allegedly turned to yet another scheme. Sitting by Trump’s side in the courtroom is a trained parrot that Trump has named Kaiser.
The feathered mimic has been specially trained to whisper suggestions in Trump’s ear while court is in session, but can switch to squawking and loud verbiage once he is outside in front of Tv cameras and the media. In court, Kaiser was spotted waking Trump up a couple of times when the former President seemed to have dozed off.
In front of the courthouse, Kaiser demonstrated a vocabulary that parrot experts said was nothing short of amazing. Besides having mastered some potent profanities, the apricot-feathered fowl has already accused Judge Merchan of sodomy and his daughter of earning a living by “forging welfare checks.”
During another break, Kaiser questioned the nationality of two jurors, exclaiming that their faces looked as if they had recently snuck across the southern U.S. border and served as “mules” for drug dealers.
Prosecutor Susan Hoffinger has met with Judge Merchan and filed another complaint alleging a fourteenth violation of the gag order. While Trump’s attorneys insist that there’s no proof that Trump himself trained the bird, Hoffinger presented the judge with recordings of Kaiser beginning several of his accusations with “Believe me…” and accusing the two jurors of being “yuge, stupid losers.”